


Shadowhunters will always be Shadowhunters.

by NiennorNight (Niennor_Night)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Book!MalecToo, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Date, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, More angst, Romance, Show!Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-09
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8802241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niennor_Night/pseuds/NiennorNight
Summary: It's been three days since they got Jace back, and three days since Magnus last spoke to Alec. With everything left unresolved after their fight, Magnus is left full of sadness and doubts for their relationship and Alec's true feelings. Until...{This is mostly Ch.1's summary, I left it at that to avoid spoilers!}





	1. Sadness and Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is inspired by the promo we got for the Shadowhunters Series and Malec, because even though I LOVED it (of course) the angst was killing me, and I couldn’t stand thinking of my precious Magnus sad, till January. [WHY Alec, WHY T_T]  
> So! Here you go. Set after everything is resolved and Jace is found. (Series Timeline)
> 
> (Mainly Show!Malec, but contains some Book!Malec details too! No book spoilers~)
> 
> [Here is the link for said promo in twitter: https://twitter.com/ShadowhuntersTV/status/798634920889286656]

It's been three days since Magnus had last heard of Alec. Three days, with no phone calls, no messages, no contact whatsoever.

The last time he had seen him was when they finally got Jace back. The blond boy was in pretty bad shape and everyone had rushed to his side to check on him.

Magnus had looked on as Alec fell on his knees beside his Parabatai worried, carefully touching him to assess his wounds. There was nothing on him an iratze couldn't fix, and knowing he wasn't needed anymore, Magnus silently left. No one called his name as he walked away, no one asked him to come back. So he didn't.

Now, three days later he was sitting at his couch alone, nursing a strong drink in his hand. He intended it to be the first of many, because what else was there to do at that point but stay in and drink himself to oblivion? He was really in no mood to go out and party.

He had fallen for that boy **_hard_** , but he should have known better. Shadowhunters will always be Shadowhunters after all. And he was just a Downworlder. Someone meant to be looked down upon and be used by them. Someone meant to be discarded without a second thought when there was no more use for him.

He downed the drink, tossing the glass to a nearby wall and breaking it, before conjuring a new one.

 _'But Alec wasn't like other Shadowhunters…'_ He hid his face in his hands burying himself deeper into the couch and his despair.

He knew Alec was new to that. Heck, he was new to everything; the boy was merely 18, still a child. He understood, even though he'd never felt it or ever would, the importance of a Parabatai bond. He'd seen it destroy many Nephilim in the past.

He wasn't blaming Alec for acting like that because he knew he was under **_heavy_** pressure. He was surprised by the boy's outburst but he wasn't accusing him. However it still hurt. Very much. Too much.

He downed that drink too, letting it slip through his fingers and shatter to the floor beside his bare feet.

Okay. He understood all that. He understood being ignored once they found Jace because of course **he** was more important. _'In that moment, and in general…'_ Magnus thought, his heart, clenching. He bit his lip conjuring something stronger to drink.

"Why am I always like that…?" He muttered. "Why do I keep falling for the wrong people? A Nephilim?? I knew this was going to happen all along… I should have known he was bound to just use me too, and abandon me in the end…”

He was taking it too bad, he knew. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe... No. _'No use lying to myself.'_ He thought. He **_knew_** what his problem was. It was hope. He had dared hope, dared to even dream for them. Alec was the first person he had grown close to after a long lonely time. And he seemed so different than every other Nephilim he’d met before. But in the end...

**~o~**

He wasn’t being unreasonable. While Alec was stressing over Jace, Magnus was nothing but supportive. He helped him in any and every way he could, worried about him, made sure he was taken care of. He kept his distance, going back to not even touching him without permission.

And he never asked for anything back. He didn’t do it to be thanked. All he wanted was Alec to be happy. And then, three days ago, everything paid off. They got Jace back. But even though they couldn’t have done it without him, no one even spared him a second look. That was okay too. He knew he was nothing but trash to them. He was used to it and didn’t expect any better. And since he had done it for Alec, there was no payment to request for his help. So he just disappeared.

He didn’t expect any of them to call or show up. Not unless they needed another favour. That’s what Nephilim **did** after all. Always demanding. Expecting **_you_** to thank them, because they did you the honour of allowing you to serve them.

“But Alec isn’t like that…” He muttered sipping his fourth  drink. “He’s not like the rest of them.” _‘Keep telling yourself that and you might believe it.’_ An unbidden and very unwelcome voice in his head whispered. And it was right. That’s exactly what he was doing. He kept thinking of that, trying not to let the pain make his faith in Alec waver. But it was only getting harder.

Of course Alec wouldn’t care for him once Jace returned. The next day too. But three days later, the Nephilim was still nowhere to be seen. It’s not that he hadn’t come over. Magnus knew that he probably wouldn’t, not anymore. But he had neither called, hadn’t even sent a text. Nothing. Not a word.

Surely he could have found **one** free minute in those three days. _‘When he needed me he was here all the time...’_ He thought bitterly, unable to help himself. But still, he couldn’t blame him. Even though his heart was breaking now, he was still so in love with him and wouldn’t trade a moment of those they had together.

And still he made excuses for his absence, for his silence, willing himself to believe he had disappeared simply because he was too busy, and not because now that his Parabatai (who he also had feelings for) was back, Magnus meant nothing to him. He willed himself to believe it wasn’t because he was just using him all along. Just like everyone else.

**~o~**

When his phone rang an hour later, he had lost count of how many drinks he had had. He got up unsteadily reaching out to get it and stepped on the broken glass at his feet. Cursing silently, but too numb from the alcohol to care about the pain, he picked up.

"You have reached the High Warlock of Brooklyn." He said. "Whatever you want, I can't help you. Try again in 10 years."

Having lost all hope at this point, he didn't even consider the fact that Alec could be finally calling him. He let the phone drop to the floor falling back on the couch himself and closing his eyes.

**~o~**


	2. On the way to redemption

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec takes his first steps to redeem himself. But will Magnus remember?

"Wha-?" Alec muttered confused, staring at his phone, worried after hearing a crashing sound on the other side.

"What's wrong?" Izzy who was beside him asked.

"I don't know… Magnus. I have to leave."

"Okay. Go. I'll cover for you." Izzy said with no hesitation and Alec nodded at her, smiling.

"Thanks sis."

"Oh, Alec! Did you tell him yet?"

"No…" He frowned. "I was going to, now, but…"

"It'll be fine! Just tell him when you go there!"

"Yeah…" He said nervously. "I will…"

**~o~**

Fifteen minutes later he was outside Magnus' loft. Halfway there he had become too worried for the Warlock's health and started running.

He knocked on the door but got no answer and decided to just let himself in since Magnus had left the door unlocked again.

"Magnus…?" He called his name softly, but got no answer. Wondering if he had fallen asleep, he moved towards the living room, and true enough, found the Warlock there, passed out on the couch.

The Nephilim took another step his way and heard glass shatter under his feet. Surprised, he looked down and only then noticed the remains of the glass that Magnus broke, and the fact that his bare feet that were still on the floor were hurt from stepping on the glass which was still lodged inside his flesh.

"Raziel… What did you do Magnus?" He whispered seeing the alcohol and empty glasses too.  
He moved beside him and carefully picked him up on his arms, carrying him towards his bed, taking care not to wake him. Once he let him down though, Magnus stirred, opening his eyes that were gold cat-eyes, now that his glamour had fallen away.

"Alec…?" He rasped, looking confused. "What?"

"Hush…" Alec whispered, softly touching his lips with one hand, while pushing his unruly hair back with the other. "Sleep…"

Magnus looked at him for a moment, and then closed his eyes again, succumbing to sleep.  
The Nephilim leaned over him, planting a kiss on his forehead, and then touched his face softly.  
_'Did I do that to him?'_ He wondered, guilt washing over him once more. _'I was being too selfish…'_  
Sighing, he got off the bed, heading to the bathroom. He rummaged the drawers and managed to find some pliers, disinfectant and gauzes.

Back in the bedroom, Magnus was still sleeping. Heavily, by the looks of it.

Still, Alec sat carefully on the edge of the bed, wishing not to wake him, and put his legs on his lap to assess the damage.

Most cuts didn't look too deep, and being a Warlock, Magnus should have normally been already healed. But the fragments were still inside his leg, halting the process and as he took the pliers, and starting to carefully extract the fragments, Alec was grateful for the few medical lessons Hodge had given them, 'just in case'.

He kept gently removing little pieces and dabbing the wounds with disinfectant, before wrapping them in bandages. After ten stressful minutes, Alec was also really grateful to the alcohol, for keeping Magnus asleep. He'd hate to cause him pain while removing the glass.

When he was finally done and Magnus' wounds were all wrapped up and healing, the Nephilin got up and pulled the covers over the sleeping man, tucking him safely in. He then went to the living room to tidy up the mess of broken and empty glasses.

Among the shards he found Magnus' phone which luckily wasn't broken, and he realised that was the sound he heard when he called. He put it on the table, and finally, once the loft was as good as new, he found some painkillers and left them on Magnus' bedside table along with a glass of water.

He sighed softly looking at him sleeping peacefully, then leaned closer and gave him another kiss on the forehead, before silently leaving the house.

**~o~**


	3. Questions

Magnus was woken up the next morning by the sun coming through the open curtains. He groaned and clicked his fingers, closing them, and turned his back to the window, shutting his eyes again.  
Even that simple movement brought a wave of pain to his head that felt like it was about to break and he groaned once more.

Suddenly realisation hit him and he opened his eyes, blinking surprised at the glass of water and the medicine that he just noticed beside the bed. _'What…? Wait. Why am I on bed?'_ He thought confused. He could have sworn he hadn't walked to his room. And he certainly hadn't left the water and the painkiller there.

Accepting the fact that he'd be unable to piece together the facts while his head hurt that much, he gulped down the medicine and the water, and went back to sleep.

**~o~**

When he woke up again, the pain had subsided and he could finally think clearly. Laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, he recounted the events of the previous night.

"I didn't leave home…" He muttered. "I didn't even leave the couch. I was alone. What the Hell happened?" He pulled back the covers noticing just then, his bandaged legs. "What the…?" He muttered. His phone chose that precise moment to ring and memories came back to him.

**~o~**

He remembered dozing off in the couch when the phone rang last night. _'I stepped on the glass…'_

He remembered dismissing the pain as nothing much and answering the phone, but hanging up not waiting for an answer from the other end.

"I must have fallen asleep afterwards…" Magnus murmured, another memory coming back to him. "I dreamt of him…"

Running his hands through his hair frustrated, he got up. "Who was on the phone? And who took care of me? And why??" He muttered walking to the living room to find his phone and get at least one answer out of three by checking the call log.

Noticing the state of the room, he remembered that day Alec had shared his strength with him. The Nephilim had tidied up the mess later so Magnus wouldn't waste more magic. The situation right now looked very similar and coupled with the brief memory of Alec telling him to go back to sleep, it all made sense. "It wasn't a dream? But why would he come here? And why did he leave like that?"

Checking his phone, he found a missed call from Alec from minutes ago, and an answered one from the previous night. Giving up on nurturing probable false hopes he lied back on the couch calling Alec back.

It barely rang once before the young Shadowhunter picked up.

"Magnus??" Alec said, his voice laced with worry. "Are you okay?"

"Alexander." Magnus replied coolly, trying to sound indifferent, despite the fact that his heart was racing. "To what do I owe the honour of your call?" He asked ignoring his question.

"I…" The boy wavered, his voice becoming unsure at once. _'He's angry…'_ "Uh… I…" He stuttered. "Can I see you? There's something I need to talk about."

Magnus felt his heart clench. _'That can't be good…'_ "I don't think today is a good day Alexander." He said sounding uninterested, to cover his real emotions that despite the ominous 'I need to talk' screamed 'yes' wanting more than anything to see the boy who stole his heart again.

"Please…" The boy pleaded in a low voice. "Are you too busy?"

Magnus sighed trying to stop the hope creeping back in his heart. "Fine. Where do you want to meet?"

"Can I come over? Are you busy with work? It could take a while."

Another sigh. "Do whatever you want Alexander. I'll be here, I'm not busy."

"Thank you." He said, relief flooding his voice. "I'm leaving here soon."

"Okay." The Warlock said and hung up.

**~o~**

Magnus covered his face with his hands sighing. "I'm not letting him see me like that." He muttered getting up. "I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I won't be caught fazed by one Shadowhunter boy."

His cat looked at him with a look of pity and contempt, like saying, **_"You already have been."_**

“Oh shut up. You don't get to give me that look, you have never been in love. You can't understand."

**~o~**

Alec frowned staring at his phone again. _'He's angry at me…'_ He thought sighing, hurt by Magnus' indifferent tone. _'Guess I deserve it… After the way I treated him…'_

Deciding to not be negative in advance, Alec got up and got dressed in some clothes Izzy had picked for him the previous day after telling him that she’s not letting him exit the Institute to meet Magnus dressed his usual way. He had grumbled and whined but finally gave in.

So here he was now, twenty minutes later, knocking on Magnus’ door, dressed in a, too tight for his taste, pair of jeans and a black nightshirt with the top buttons open and the sleeves rolled up. Despite his ‘cool’ appearance, he was squirming nervously stepping from one foot to another, trying to think of what to say, when Magnus answered the door.

The Warlock appeared before him, wearing a pair of tight jeans and a jacket over a dark red nightshirt. The shirt's buttons were open, revealing his unblemished, toned chest over which some silver and gold long necklaces were hanging, and Alec felt his breath catch and his heart skip a beat before picking up its pace to cover for it.

Magnus’ beautiful brown eyes which were staring him down were outlined by some smudged dark glittery shadow, made, if possible, even more beautiful than they usually were. The Shadowhunter kept staring at him, forgetting why he was there and what he was supposed to be doing, until Magnus broke the silence.

**~o~**

 

 

_ **P.S: This is what Magnus looked like, my description kinda sucks. (See below) *Dies*** _

 

 

 


	4. A mysterious destination

Magnus opened the door and froze. Alec was standing before him, but he was completely changed from the last time he saw him. From **_any_** time he saw him before. _'Sweet Lilith...'_ He thought, his throat suddenly dry, making a superhuman effort to not jump him right then and there. Thankly the boy seemed extremely nervous and didn't notice any of that, long enough for Magnus to regain his cool and realize with delight, that judging by the look on Alec's face, he wanted to jump him too.

He also realized thought, that regretfully, Alec wasn't going to make a move like that, so he decided to break the silence before his own self-control collapsed.

"Alexander."

"I know you're busy." Alec said hastily snapping out of his trance, and picking up from where he left on the phone, too nervous to think properly. "I'm really sorry to waste your time, but please just…" He sighed defeated. "I'm not making sense, I…" He took Magnus' hand. "Please let me waste some of your time. An hour, or two."

Magnus looked at him faking indifference. "Do **_you_** have that much time? I thought you were extremely busy. Seeing you had no time to even text in the past three days."

A look of immense guilt came over Alec's features and he squeezed Magnus' hand. "I do… No one will search for me until tomorrow. Please, if you listen to me I promise to explain everything."

"I'm all yours Alexander." Magnus sighed unable to keep pretending, deciding to take the leap and hope again. _'One more time… Maybe this time he won't break my heart…'_

The boy's smile momentary took his breath away, and he found himself smiling too. "Thank you." Alec said.

Magnus shook his head. "I told you before Alexander. I would do anything for you…"

Alec barely bit back an apology squeezing his hand once more instead and repeating. "Thank you."

"Yeah…" Magnus huffed, a short, bitter laugh, and even before the Warlock let go of his hand, looking away, Alec realised that was another wrong answer on his part. However, before he could say anything to fix it, Magnus sighed beckoning him in. "Come on."

"Actually…" Alec said. "Can you please come with me?"

“We’re going out? I’m not dressed properly.”

The Shadowhunter paused, looking at him once more, raising an eyebrow but then lost the sassy attitude, unable to maintain it against Magnus looking like that and he said blushing, his eyes shining. “You are perfect. More than beautiful.”

Magnus knew already that the boy liked the way he dressed. He could see it in his eyes, reflected in his lingering gaze. But Alec had never actually spoken the words and the Warlock was filled with joy hearing them now. Especially after everything that had happened between then. “Thank you Alexander.” He said warmly, making him blush more and avert his eyes.

“I was just telling the truth…” He muttered, looking up at him, meeting his eyes for a moment, before dropping his gaze to his lips.

Magnus smirked, knowing exactly what he was thinking about but refusing to humour him this time.

Alec reluctantly tore his eyes away. “Anyway… I… Please Magnus, I’ve never done this before, help me out here…”

That got the Warlock’s attention. “Done what?” He asked confused, raising an eyebrow.

“You’ll see.” The Nephilim pouted. “ ** _If_** you come with me.”

Magnus gave him an incredulous look but didn’t push more. “Okay then. Lead the way Shadowhunter.”

Alec’s pout intensified, but then a look of determination came upon his face. “Uhm…  Magnus?

“Yes?”

“Is it okay if I…” He trailed off.

“Yes?”  Magnus asked again.

Alec dropped his eyes, his determination fading as quickly as it came and he sighed. _‘He’s angry at me… Of course he wouldn’t want to…’_ “Nevermind.” He muttered defeated.

Magnus smiled fondly, unable to stay mad at him, especially when he was making that adorable face and said softly. “If you want something, you need to ask for it Alexander. I cannot read your mind…” He trailed off reaching out to take his hand. “At least not **_all_** the time.” He winked as Alec beamed.

“Thank you.” He whispered. “Let’s go.”

Intertwining their fingers together and gently tugging at Magnus’ hand he led him out and grabbed a taxi, handing them a written note instead of telling them where to go out loud.

When Magnus raised an eyebrow at him Alec just shrugged smiling. “It’s a surprise.”

“I see you’ve thought of everything.” He commented and the Nephilim simply nodded blushing slightly.

Neither of them spoke for the rest of the ride, allowing a comfortable silence to hover over them as Alec’s fingers nervously danced in Magnus’ grip and Magnus used his thumb to soothe him.

**~o~**


	5. A dinner date

A short while later, the taxi stopped, and Alec paid the driver and got out, offering Magnus his hand again, and closing the Warlock’s door behind him. Magnus smiled at Alec’s chivalrous moves, allowing the Nephilim to guide him to their destination.

Said destination was a beautiful restaurant with a roof garden. Magnus stared, taken aback, clearly not expecting that, as the Shadowhunter led him inside and all the way up and into a secluded booth.

“This is for you…” Alec muttered blushing, picking up a bouquet of flowers from one of the chairs and offering it to Magnus.

It was a synthesis of white tulips mixed with pink varieties of the same flower, combined with aqua-blue and violet hyacinths, and also blue, purple and white bell-flowers. It was a clumsy, yet beautiful combo, just like Alec, and Magnus knew exactly what it meant; what the boy wanted to convey through it.

“You truly never cease to amaze me Alexander.” He smiled warmly at him. “Looks like you got in a lot of trouble to prepare everything.”

“I’m not done yet.” He said pulling back Magnus’ chair so he could sit, making him smile more as he did. "I know it's not much, and that it doesn't undo what I did. All the pain I caused you..." He said thinking of the anguished look in Magnus' eyes when they were fighting, and of him passed out drunk on the couch. "But I'm really sorry... And I wanted you to know."

Magnus was staring at him surprised, not expecting an actual apology too, as the boy took his seat opposite him. "Alec..."

But he never got to finish his words because the waiter arrived just then, bringing their food. Magnus stared at the plate laid before him in disbelief, before raising both eyebrows at Alec, cocking his head to the side. “How did you…?”

Alec blushed more. “I hope you don’t mind…” He said. “I wanted everything to be perfect, but I didn’t know, and couldn’t ask **_you,_** so I consulted your friend Catarina Loss ***** to learn what your favourite dish is ******. They say this restaurant makes the best in town.”

Magnus kept staring at him amazed. “You got in all that trouble… For me…?”

“It was no trouble…” Alec lied pouring him a glass of wine. “Miss Loss wasn’t very hard to find. She said she knew who I was already, and once I told her everything, she helped me immediately. She’s really kind.” Alec smiled softly. He had really liked the healer.

“She really is.” Magnus smiled too and took a bite, his eyes and smile widening as he did. “And this is **really** amazing!”

“I’m glad!” Alec grinned, his eyes shining as he relaxed a little, at last finally tasting his own food. “I was worried you might not like it… Any of it.”

“Don’t be. I love it.” The Warlock said smiling tenderly at him. _‘I really am too far gone…’_ He thought sighing internally at the realization. _‘That boy has me wrapped around his little finger.’_

Alec reached out over the table, to take his free hand. “I’m very happy to hear that.” He said somberly. “I really am sorry… And I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to **_just_** apologise. After everything, a plain apology wouldn’t even begin to cover it. So I tried to…” He gestured around them. “…do something more. But I’d never done anything like that before and even though Izzy helped me, I wasn’t sure you would like it, or if you would ever forgive me…”

 _‘I have already forgiven you_ _…’_ Magnus thought but kept his tongue, knowing it wasn’t wise to give that much information, and show even more vulnerability so soon. Instead, he decided to let him ‘simmer’ for a bit. It was only fair after all, after everything.

Since Magnus said nothing, Alec anxiously went on. “When Jace returned, I was too overwhelmed. Everything happened so fast. But when I looked up wanting to find you, you had disappeared."

"Then why didn't you call me?" He asked trying to sound as if he was just curious. "You could have texted too."

He shook his head. "I couldn't. I wanted to thank you, and I wanted to apologise, but I didn't want to do it by phone. Wouldn't it seem like I didn't care enough then?"

"And you do?" Magnus asked carefully, fearing the answer, but anxious to hear it all the same.

Alec raised his eyes to meet Magnus'. "I do. Very much. And I'm sorry I made you doubt it... I'm sorry for everything. I know you only wanted to help, but I wasn't thinking clearly. I'm sure you know about the parabatai bonds and how strong they are…"

Magnus nodded, pleased that Alec didn't think he was clueless and didn't look down on him like Shadowhunters usually did. **_'It's a Shadowhunter thing, you wouldn't know.'_** As if he wasn't alive since long before they were even born.

Alec's went on, obliviously pulling him out of his mental rambling. "This is really no excuse though, but the only thing I can do now, is apologise."

"And all that." Magnus gestured around them, a small smile on his lips.

Alec shook his head frowning. "This is nothing..."

Magnus raised an eyebrow at him and he dropped his eyes on the table. "It really is." Another flashback of the hurt look in Magnus' eyes made him bite his lip pained. _'When did I start caring so much about him?'_ He thought, unable to pinpoint the exact moment. “This is not nearly enough." He went on. "I'm really sorry..."

Seeing he really meant it, and he was hurt because of it too, Magnus reached out to cover his hand, that was still fidgeting nervously on the table, with his.

Alec raised his eyes on him surprised, and then turned his hand upwards to intertwine their fingers.

"I'm sorry." He repeated. "And thank you." He brought his other hand to cover Magnus' looking into his eyes, his own shining. "Thank you so much. We couldn't have done it without you. Thank you."

Magnus froze, staring at him in awe once again, unable to believe this was really happening. _'Maybe I'm still home, in my couch, drunk...'_ He thought. _'This is too good to be true.'_

"And also..." Alec said. "I'm sorry about everyone else too. For the way they acted towards you."

There were so many things Magnus wanted to say, some cheesy (though totally truthful), some serious, some plain romantic.

However seeing how Alec was really nervous, he decided to lighten the mood and show him he wasn't angry at him, by going with teasing instead.

“I **_could_** forgive you…” He said smirking, immediately getting the boy’s full attention.

“If?” Alec asked, staring at him, hanging on his lips.

“I will forgive you if you do what you wanted to do since you stepped into my house this afternoon.” Magnus crooned, giving him a lopsided smile, remembering the way the Nephilim had looked at him with an almost hungry look in his eyes while taking in his appearance earlier that day.

Alec blushed, but said. “I already did.”

Magnus blinked surprised. “You did?”

“Yes. Since, and before I came to your loft, all I wanted to do was apologise.”

The Warlock smiled, but then sighed theatrically. “I see. Was there nothing else you wanted then?” He asked nonchalantly, playing dumb.

"I wanted to thank you too." Alec teased playing dumb too.

"Alexander."

Alec smiled softly, dropping his eyes on the man’s lips briefly, before licking his own. “There may have been something…” He whispered leaning closer.

Magnus smiled back at him, his heart racing from the boy’s shenanigans. “Care to tell me? I can keep a secret.”

“Tell you?” Alec teased again. “Wouldn’t you rather I show you?”

Magnus just nodded, unconsciously licking his lips too, barely holding back from leaning closer and kissing the boy.

Said boy wasn’t holding back though, and after making sure Magnus wanted the same thing, he  finally leaned even closer, pressing their lips together. Magnus reached out wrapping his fingers in Alec’s raven hair holding him close.

“Ever since that day…” He whispered, breathless after they separated. “I wanted to kiss you again.”

“Me too…” Two simple words, a smile, and then they were kissing once more.

**~o~**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *For those of you who haven't read the books, Catarina Loss is a Warlock and one of Magnus' oldest and closest friends. She is working as a doctor in a mundane hospital.
> 
> **I had no headcanons for Mags' favourite food so I left it vague.
> 
> ~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o
> 
> [FLOWER LANGUAGE]
> 
> Hyacinth: When you want to sincerely apologize to someone, give a bouquet of hyacinth to ask for forgiveness. Hyacinth is a bell-shaped, fragrant flower whose symbolism makes it an appropriate addition to a bouquet of "apology flowers." Aqua-blue varieties of hyacinth blossoms mean sincerity in the language of flowers, while violet blooms represent the asking of forgiveness from the recipient.
> 
> Tulip: When you're saying "I'm sorry," give white tulips, as these cream-colored blossoms are representative of forgiveness. Tulip Time notes that white tulips represent the act of forgiveness in several cultures, and as a sign of spring represent rebirth and hope for the future. Create a bouquet of white tulips mixed with pink varieties, which convey a sense of deep caring in the language of flowers, to ask for the sincere and complete forgiveness of a loved one.]  
> [Hyacinth and Tulip info from: http://peopleof.oureverydaylife.com/apology-flowers-5813.html]
> 
> Campanula (Bell-flower): These lovely flowers are shaped like cups or bells, thus the common name of bell-flower. They generally come in white, blue, purple, and pink, and the tall stalks complement other flowers very well. Campanulas represent gratitude in florigraphy.  
> [Bell-flower info from: http://blog.avasflowers.net/the-best-flowers-to-say-thanks]


	6. Clarifying everything

They left the restaurant an hour later. After kissing for a while, they had sat back and eaten, chatting about simple things, smiling at each other. All the tension between them was finally gone and everything felt simple and peaceful. Magnus hadn’t felt that happy in way too long.

“Why don’t you come over for a while?” He proposed not wanting the night to end so soon. “You said no one’s going to look for you, right?”

“Yeah.” Alec nodded. “And if they will, Izzy will cover for me.”

“Great. I’d like to make you another cocktail, I know you hated the last one.” He chuckled, and Alec smiled at him.

“Okay.”

**~o~**

“Make yourself at home.” Magnus said after they entered his loft, as he went to the mini-bar to make them some drinks. And then it clicked. "Alexander? Were you here yesterday?" He asked wanting to make sure even though he had already guessed the answer.

"Yes…" Alec blushed. "I'm sorry I let myself in but you hang up on me and I heard a crash and was worried about you."

"You were **_worried_**?" Magnus asked, his eyes wide. "For **_me_**?"

"Of course." Alec frowned. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

_'Because no one cared before…'_ Biting back the truth, Magnus cleared his throat. "I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn. You don't need to worry about me."

"Really???" Alec raised an eyebrow at him. "So I needn't worry that you were passed out in the couch drunk, you feet bleeding from stepping on broken glass?"

Magnus looked away, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest. “No. You needn’t.”

“Not even if it is my fault?”

“ **Especially** then!” He snapped. “I don’t need you to feel sorry for me Alexander! Is that why you’re here? Out of guilt? If that’s all, you don’t have to force yourself.”

“Of course I feel guilty!” Alec shouted back. “But that’s not why I’m here!”

“Then why??”

“I wanted to apologise stupid!” Alec snapped too. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry for being such an asshole before, and-!”  He stopped. “Raziel… And here I am doing it again…” He hid his face in his hands shaking his head. “I keep ruining everything…” He muttered.

“Alexander.”

Alec dropped his hands and sighed looking at Magnus. “I’ll leave if you want me to…”

Magnus shook his head 'no'. “Please stay. But only if you really want to.”

“There is nothing I want more…” Alec said in a low voice. “That’s why I came. I wanted to apologise of course, but I also wanted to see you. I missed you.”

"It's settled then." Magnus smiled falling back on the couch and pulling Alec with him, the drinks forgotten. They didn’t need them after all.

The Shadowhunter scooted closer to him, looking at his face. “I really am sorry…" He repeated. "I never wanted to hurt you…"

“I know… It's okay darling, those things happen I guess." He said kissing his forehead. "I just had forgotten. It's been too long."

Alec sighed blissfully, leaning into his touch, but muttered. "It was still awful of me… Especially after all you did for us."

“It's over now." Magnus crooned. "And you made up for it already." He pulled back to look in his eyes. "More than sufficiently. No one has ever done that for me." He confessed in a low voice.

“No way."

“Yes way babe."

“But…"

“It doesn't matter Alexander." He said sensing the boy's distress. "The past is in the past. All that matters now is the present."

“Then…" Alec dropped his eyes on Magnus' hands, fidgeting with one of his rings. "Are you happy now?"

The Warlock pushed his chin up gently to meet his eyes, and gave him a tender smile. "Yes. I am very happy. And it's because of you."

Alec gasped softly, his eyes widening. "I… uh… I'm glad." He blushed. "Me too…I'm really happy…"

“That's good to hear sayang." Magnus smiled.

Alec nodded, still a little embarrassed. "What does that mean? Sayang?"

“Who knows~" Magnus teased, smirking playfully and the Nephilim pouted making him laugh. ”I could tell you…" He trailed off. "But of course, I require payment. In advance. You know the rules sweetheart."

“Is that so?" Alec asked, leaning closer, their noses almost touching.

”I'm afraid so." Magnus' smirk grew.

“Too bad." Alec said, pulling back a little, noticing with satisfaction the disappointment in the Warlock's eyes. "I'm not **_that_** curious." He said cockily and Magnus pouted making Alec chuckle softly.

“Just kidding." He grabbed his shirt and closed the distance between them, kissing him with all he had.

Not expecting it, Magnus gasped in surprise before regaining his cool and kissing him back enthusiastically, wrapping his arms around his neck.

“Was that enough?" Alec breathed against his lips, once they separated to breathe.

“I don't know…" Magnus replied dazed by the kiss. "It is a pretty important piece of information…"

The Shadowhunter's eyes burned both with curiosity and desire and he kissed him again.

“How about now?" He asked again, while they both struggled to regain their breath once more.

“I guess…" Magnus whispered. "I shouldn't be too greedy."

“I don't mind." Alec smirked, loving the effect he had on him, pecking his lips briefly. "Not at all."

“That's good.”

“So?"

“So?" Magnus mirrored. "Wait, what were we talking about?" He asked genuinely confused for a moment, making the Nephilim laugh.

“So” Alec repeated. "What does Sayang mean?"

“Oh.” The Warlock gave him a tender smile. "It means 'my beloved'."

Alec blushed, biting his lip not knowing what to say, making Magnus stare, thinking he was completely endearing. “What is it?" Alec finally asked changing the subject embarrassed noticing he was staring at him. "Is there something wrong with my face?" He said worried, making Magnus laugh.

“You're adorable."

“I'm not adorable!" He complained. "I'm a Shadowhunter!"

“Oooh. Is that so?? So Shadowhunters can't be adorable?" He teased.

“Of course not. We hunt demons for a living for Angel's sake…"

Magnus snickered. "Well darling… You are not like the others. You **_can_** be adorable, and you are."

“Is that so?" Alec pouted, repeating Magnus' words, before sobering up and kissing him hard, tangling his fingers through his raven hair, pulling gently at it.

Magnus eyes widened, his glamour slipping revealing their true appearance for a moment, and then he closed them, kissing him back breathlessly.

**~o~**


	7. Holding back

“Was that adorable too?" Alec whispered, his voice raspy, sending shivers of pleasure down Magnus' spine.

“Raziel no." The Warlock said. "That was scorching hot."

Alec licked his lips, pleased. "Good."

Magnus looked at him, his eyes golden, pupils blown wide. "You have no idea what you do to me Alexander…"

“You're exaggerating."

“Of course I'm not!" Magnus exclaimed.

“Then why am I the one always kissing you?" The Shadowhunter finally asked the question that's been torturing him even before the marriage. "You've been flirting with me from day one, yet never made an actual move! Nothing seems to break your cool, while every time **_I_** see you, I have to hold myself back so I won't kiss you senseless."

“Why would you do that?????" The Warlock exclaimed, talking about Alec holding back, before adding, raising an eyebrow. "So you **_had_** realised I was flirting with you."

“Of course I had, I'm not stupid." _'And I loved every moment.'_ Alec thought blushing. "Even though, admittedly…" He added. "It was hard to believe you were serious."

“Alexander." Magnus said sobering up. "It takes every ounce of self control I have to keep my hands off you."

“Why would you do that?" He asked, purposefully mirroring Magnus' previous words.

“Because I know you're new to this and I'm afraid, if I let myself free I may push you too hard. May push you away… And I can't risk that…"

Alec's eyes widened momentary. "You mean that? You're serious?"

“Of course I do…" Magnus said patiently.

"Oh… It all makes sense now." Alec smiled brightly.

Magnus raised an eyebrow and the Nephilim explained. “I thought I was the only one affected… I mean, as I said before, you did say all that stuff, but it was still hard to believe, you know?"

Magnus raised his eyebrow higher. "About that… No. I don't know actually. Care to elaborate?"

“Well, look at you!" Alec said like stating the obvious, waving his arms between them. "And look at me…" He added lower.”

“I **_am_** looking. All I do is **_look_** at you Alexander, in case you haven't noticed." Magnus said with fervor, making The Nephilim blush for one more time. Alec bit his lip and averted his eyes, but Magnus pushed his chin up to look at him again. “And do you know why I keep looking at you?" Alec shook his head. "Because you're beautiful." Another shake, denying his claim. “You **are**. But that's not the only reason. I'm not that vain. Well, maybe I am sometimes." He winked making him laugh. “That's better." Magnus grinned before going on. “As I was saying… I keep looking; I find myself powerless to take my eyes off you, because you enchant me. You amaze me, Alexander. I’ve never met anyone like you. So innocent and yet so fiery. A Nephilim, yet so kind towards those you were taught to consider inferior. You keep surprising me. A Shadowhunter who actually can apologise? And not because anyone forced him but because he wants to. That was what astonished me the most to be honest. Not to mention thanking me. I hadn't heard that word in ages.”

Alec’s face was crimson as he looked away, too embarrassed to meet Magnus’ eyes. “You make me sound really extraordinary, while I’m nothing of the short… I’m plain… Both in appearance and everything else.” He muttered unable to believe someone as breathtaking as Magnus could see all that in him. “And about apologising…” He added taking his hand. “I’m sorry you feel that way… I know you’re not wrong to, and I can hardly imagine what you’ve been through, especially in the past centuries, when relations with Downworlders were even more ‘strained’ to put it mildly.”

“ ** _Very_** mildly.”

Alec nodded agreeing. “I’ve been thinking about it you know… Because there are very few things I hate more than injustice. If I became the head of the Institute, I wanted…” He bit his lip, his cheeks darkening more and shook his head falling silent.

“Alexander? Why did you stop? Tell me. What were you thinking? What did you want?”

“It’s silly.” He said shaking his head again. “After all, there is no hope for me. I could never become the head of the Institute. Not as long as I’m like that, and we both know that’s not changing anytime soon. My parents would pick Jace over me any day.”

When he said that, Magnus noticed, amazed once more, that there was no bitterness in his voice. Not even when speaking about being deprived so unfairly of what was essentially his birthright, because of something he had no power over, because of who he really was. All that was lacing his voice, was sadness. Sadness, disappointment and defeat.

“No offence, darling, but your parents were always horrible judges of character. Take Valentine for example.” He shrugged, hoping he hadn’t insulted the boy. He was being as mild as possible.

Alec laughed mirthlessly. “None taken.” He said. “I still haven’t forgiven them for keeping that from us.”

“So, that said,” Magnus went on, pushing his chin up to look into his eyes. “You shouldn’t feel sad because your parents are too blind to see the treasure inside their own home.”

“But Magnus…”

“No buts. I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I’m centuries old. You can trust my judgement.”

Alec chuckled. “Did you mean, ‘your completely unbiased judgement’?”

“Yeah. That.” Magnus poked his nose, smiling at him, with so much fondness in his eyes that the Nephilim couldn’t bring himself to protest. “Now, tell me. What do you want to do when you become head of the Institute? Because you will. Jokes aside, you are the best choice. Your parents can’t keep being ignorant forever.”

Alec smiled bashfully at him, still blushing. “Thank you.”

**~o~**


	8. Hope for the Future

"What I was thinking... What I wanted, was to destroy those old, dusty prejudices... To fight the pointless hate against innocent Downworlders. I'm not one, but I know first hand what it feels like to be looked down upon and be hated for who and what you are. For something you can't change."

Magnus said nothing. For the third time that night, he was left almost gaping at him in awe, all words eluding him.

Alec blushed averting his eyes, misreading his astonishment. "I know you probably think I have no right to say that since I am one of those who caused that oppression in the first place... But I-"

Magnus gently pushed a finger against his lips silencing him, making him stare at him with wide eyes.

“I've said it before. But I will again. And again, and again if needed. You never cease to amaze me Alexander."

“Wha-" He started saying but Magnus cut him off once more, leaning close and kissing him gently.

“You truly are one of a kind, aren't you?" He whispered.

The Nephilim blushed more than ever. "I'm nothing special.”

“It was a rhetorical question darling. You weren't supposed to answer it, I already **_know_** you are." Magnus smiled. Alec opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by another soft kiss which he reciprocated eagerly. "No buts." The Warlock told him, and he just nodded dazed, leaning towards him to steal another kiss.

**~o~**

“So... Once all this is over and Valentine is defeated... Will you help me?" Alec smiled shyly at him. "I'm sure that if you do, we can accomplish anything."

Magnus stared at him, his eyes gleaming with admiration and adoration, and took his hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it. "It will be my pleasure."

“Thank you. Defeating Valentine will take a while though, unfortunately, so, until then…”

Magnus’ soft smile turned wicked and he leaned closer. “Until then, what, darling?” He teased. “What do you want to do?” He added, so close that Alec could feel his breath on his lips.

“Until… Until then…” He muttered, trying to calm his racing heart and remember how to breathe again. “We could continue our date?” His breath hitched and the last phrase came out as a question, as Magnus caressed his cheekbone softly with his thumb. The Nephilim all but purred, leaning in at his touch, closing his eyes.

“Good idea.” Magnus whispered, sending pleasant shivers up Alec’s spine. “And what else?”

Alec opened his eyes again, his pupils dilated, as he stared at the Warlock hungrily. “Less talking.” He growled softly, before pulling Magnus from his lapel like he did in the wedding, and kissing him breathlessly.

“You’ll be the death of me.” Magnus said, smiling against his lips.

“We’re even then.” The Shadowhunter retorted enchanted by him. “Because you will be mine.”


End file.
